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I never share my true thoughts and feelings like I should on here. If this is supposedly supposed to be my blog then I need to say what I REALLY feel. It seems like everything I do I do for other people. Like I think about how other people would feel, or what they would think when I say or do stuff. When I write, I write for feedback and reactions, and dick riders, and attention. I tweet for retweets and responses. I make statuses to be liked. Even now while writing this I wonder who will read it and how they will react when they read it. How this will effect their life and if it will effect them at all. My life seems like it's just going past with me giving up on everything that I set my mind to do. One of my biggest fears is being that old guy that says "yeah I use to be the man at (enter God given natural gift here) you should stick with it". Giving advice from my mistakes and regrets instead of my achievements. I hate the fact that I don't feel like ive achieved anything unless someone is there to validate it and tell me ive done something great. I don't give myself enough love and attention, so I seek it from others, becoming the person that I criticize others for being. The part that hurts most is that I know all of this, yet, I still make a habit of underachieving and changing my life goals. I don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life anymore. A lot of people say that a lot of people go through what im going through right now but FUCK other people, I don't know how long I will be here so I can't waste time. Knowing that other people go through what I go through doesnt comfort me, it just makes me feel like I am a typical human being with typical emotions. I want people to hear me, im afraid of dying without changing the world in a positive way. I want to move so many people but I keep procrastinating on life. All I do is think about and focus on the future because im afraid that if I stop dreaming i'll die. Like literally die. I feel that if I can't see myself in the future then there is no future for me.