Broke nigga chronicles Pt. 1

Im hella conflicted man.. The only women that im attracted to, im not ready for... financially speaking. My independence is lacking in certain areas that would enable me to fully experience these women how I want to. No woman wants a man that doesn't have a car or his own place. I feel like im getting way too old for this shit but it's really just setbacks that have me in this position. My car got stolen back in February, so now instead of focusing on getting a place, I have to worry about stacking my bread and getting another car but working at a job that only chucks out $600 a month BEFORE taxes, it's getting kinda hard. My expenses break down like this... 

Food- $200 a month

2-3 Haircuts- $54 a month

Going out every once in a while at probably $20 a pop- $60-$120 a month

Phone bill- $80 a month

Miscellaneous expenses- $40 to $80 a month. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

So we are looking at about $540 a month... Did I mention my job is cutting hours? HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAVE??? I've been busting my ass trying to find a job! Preferably a night job so that I can work both at the same time. This shit is depressing. I feel like poverty personified. I need a bridge card, a straight razor, some clippers, and a metro, because this shit is getting ridiculous. Im hella optimistic about my future though, that's one quality about me that I love. Im never down for too long at all, I know for a fact that everything will come together quite soon. No worries at all. CHEEUH!!!!! Wish me luck yall!!!! By this time next year i'll be making rich nigga posts!!! "Wonder how I got this pet cheetah? My BENJAMIN PIIIILLLLE!!!??"