Mind Splurge Episode 11: Promise

I feel that I've missed out on a lot of things that were supposed to happen in my life because of decisions that I have made or I was too shy at the moment or my insecurities kicked in or I had a fear of failure so I didn't even attempt certain things. I know that they say that a lot of people have these feelings and regrets but FUCK all that. It isn't going to make my situation any better or make me any happier just because someone else is going through the same thing! That's like me starving everyday but it's supposed to be better because the people around me are starving too. -_- BITCH tell that to my stomach!! My ribs don't like to touch each other... But I digress... Tonight I went skating after 10 with my homegirl and for those who don't know, Detroit skating is amazing after 10, especially after the kids leave and it's mostly experienced skaters on the floor. I feel that I should have been out there. They had so much style, skill, and swagger. Their moves were so precise, I just wanted to blend in. Everyone had their own skates and I felt like a punk ass with those brown rental joints on.. I probably would have been just as good if not better than them AND had my own skates a long time ago if I would have stuck to going and not fucked up in school when I was younger just to fit in. I learned a lot about myself tonight. Most of the things that I'm good at (ex. the drums, making people laugh, sex) I either brag about or get REALLY in the zone when I do it, just to cover up the fact that that's like the only thing that I'm good at.. I want to be one of those people that everyone thinks is good at everything, or at least decent, and I know I can be, but I limit myself out of fear or not having the resources because of bullshitting around or procrastination. Today I'm making a promise to myself that I will not hold myself back from doing the things that I want to do. I WILL be multi-talented, I WILL do whatever I feel that I want to do when I want to do it and be amazing at it. I WILL NOT limit myself based off of others experiences or how people feel about my lifestyle. I WILL become the person who I want to be. All of my dreams WILL come true because I said so. Period.