Mind Splurge Episode 12: Addiction

When you read this post, I want you to keep in mind that I am not smiling, laughing, or joking in any way, shape, or form. Whatever this "affliction" or "condition" is, it's affecting my life significantly. I have never heard of it before, nor have I the means or know how to fix it... If it's a "problem" at all...

I have an addiction. I used to qualify it as a love for pleasing but now it's more like... compulsive, and uncontrollable.

I'm addicted to cunnilingus, the act of giving a woman oral sex. 

Im already a pleaser in every sense of the word, but this goes beyond that. I get sexual pleasure from pleasing a woman orally that is stronger than my physical orgasm. It's like a release of sexual tension... Just in my mind. Im insatiable when it comes to giving a woman head, and that's where the problem lies. I rarely run into multi orgasmic women, and the ones that I have run into are too submissive and are pleasers just like I am. I have had one woman be dominant with me and she wasn't multi orgasmic, but she was by far my favorite woman to give head to. She never asked for it... She would just say that she was horny and I would get down to business. I would always start off slow for extended periods of time on purpose, only because I knew that if I didn't do it exactly how she wanted me to, she would grab the back of my head and push my face in it... really hard. To this day I have permanent teeth marks on my inner top lip from me covering my top row of teeth with my lip to keep from biting her when she was gripping my cranium. It even drew blood a few times, but I didn't care about that.. It drove me crazy every time. Whenever she would do that, I would become almost.... possessed... That's the only word I can think of to describe it. 

I would grip her thighs... hard... matching her intensity. We would go from the couch/ bed, to the floor, to the couch/ bed again. We would even go from room to room sometimes just from me giving her head, and I loved every second of it. There was another young woman that I met after her. She was a very sexually curious virgin at the time, and back then, it was one of my BIGGEST fantasies to taste a virgin. So after a few months of talking and planning, I caught 3 buses, in the snow, to her house which was in an area that I wasn't too familiar with. I gave her a full body massage, kissed every part of her amazingly beautiful body, and gave her head for 2 hours. No sex, no reciprocation, just me giving her the best oral sex I could possibly give.

In recent days (The last 3 months) I met a health conscious woman that has a very healthy and balanced diet. She is by far the best, most unique tasting woman that I have ever tasted in my life. There is just something about her taste and scent that enthralls and captivates me. Im addicted to her taste. If there were (Hypothetically) somehow a way that I could taste every woman that I have ever tasted in my life, she would be the only one that I would recognize right away. I think im especially addicted to the way she cums. Her right leg convulses uncontrollably and she scratches and bites (During intercourse) me. She's also extremely audible which is ALWAYS a HUGE turn on for me. My favorite memory with her is when I first gave her head. We were chilling, talking about life with every light off except for one which was a lava lamp that was surprisingly dope as fuck.

I offered to give her a massage and she accepted. She laid on her stomach and took her shirt and bra off and laid on her stomach as I proceeded to give her a back massage. I instantly fell in love with how soft her skin was, and just the overall overwhelming, positive energy that radiates from her constantly. I turned her over and our lips met each other's for the first time... I knew then that I had to taste her. I took her pants and panties off and indulged in her. I still remember to this day the feeling that I had when I tasted her for the first time. It was like the scene on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Willy Wonka tasted candy for the first time. (Yeah it was that real) I noticed that she had a bean bag chair so I grabbed it and had her lay down on it while I attempted to orally extract the essence of her being from her body through her wonderfully amazing vagina. That was a good night...

At the moment though, I have no one (That I trust enough) to give head to. In spite of my addiction, I am still not a dumb ass. There are a plethora of diseases out here and I don't want my sexual journey to be cut short because of some nasty chick out here that doesn't know how to use protection, take care of her vagina properly, or attend her regular pocketbook check-ups. It's killing me though. Their are points in my addiction where if I go a long period of time without giving a woman head, every woman that I see that im physically attracted to makes me have this tingle feeling in my throat and I salivate. (Crazy right) It distracts me at work, and I at often times have to go in the back and compose myself before helping customers any further. It also makes me want a girlfriend for ALL the wrong reasons. I really don't want that to be a BIG deciding factor when I choose to pursue a relationship with a woman.. It's not serious to the point where I feel like I need to seek help because I honestly don't see it as a "problem" yet... But... What if it is one...?

If I just had an honest, exclusive multi orgasmic cutty buddy that LOVED receiving oral sex, could balance being dominant and submissive (Only while im giving her head, im hella dominant sexually), has a healthy and balanced (Preferably vegan) diet, and goes with me to get tested before we do anything sexual, I would be STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGHT!!!! My only strings in my no strings attached rule is that neither of us catch feelings, we are NOT allowed to do ANYTHING sexual with anyone else, and if we decide to pursue a relationship with someone, we express that clearly with each other and stop all sexual activity. That would be the dopest shit ever right now...

-Amative Minded